Retiring Commissions
So... it's not a secret that I struggle with depression and lack of motivation. However, it's been weighing on me for months now that I was losing more and more interest in doing commissions because I was constantly tired, work at Amazon has been crazy, I moved in January, I had some friend drama... I broke... I realized that I just didn't want to do them anymore. It wasn't until Editor visited me last month and I finally got a week off from everything that I realized where my priorities were. So, it is with a heavy heart that I have issued a refund for the last commission I accepted on here and that I retire them officially once and for all. If I worked from home only and didn't have as much to deal with, I might reconsider opening them again, but I never actually made a profit and I'm trying to expand my craft, so the next pictures I upload here will be personal pictures or gifts that I wanted to make.
If any of you are interested, despite me closing commissions, I have been improving in other places, such as my animation skills. In fact, check out this preview of an upcoming video I'm in the process of making:
If you wish to see the full version, stay tuned. I hope you all will understand. I'm sorry if I disappointed you all, but I had to stop because the darker thoughts were becoming too much to handle. I was hurting mentally, emotionally, and psychologically and not telling anyone. However, I still wish to make content, just on my own terms. Hopefully you will stick around for it.
Thank you for listening, and until next time Sayonara!
Commissions are Loosely Paused
So, I have to be real with all of you. My stress level is through the roof right now and I can't deal with it properly, on top of writing this after a bad day and I'm sick. So, I need to take away some of my stress. Therefore, I'm pausing all commissions until further notice. The reasons being, mostly because of my job, the fact that they weren't as frequent to be warranted, and daily life taking over. Let me try to explain all of this as calmly as I can.
First, my job. I work at an Amazon Fulfillment Center. I have the set schedule of working from 6:30pm-7:00am every Thursday, Friday and Saturday. So most weeks I'm exhausted from work and can't focus on commissions. I sleep all day to compensate from my overnight shift, but on days like today where I can't get any sleep I wake up feeling irritable and angry at the world. What I need to do about that is switch to a day shift where I can wake up in the morning and come home at night. However, transfers can take some time to process and I'm not guaranteed that I'll get the shift type that I want. I'm not even sure how long the transfer will take. Days? Weeks? Months? I don't know, but I have to do it. Because on top of my sleep deprivation, I'm becoming more depressed and my PTSD Episodes are happening more frequently causing my mental health to drop as well.
Besides, I typically get 1 commission every so often, and while it's not my main source of income, I do use it to help pay bills sometimes. There was one time I can remember I got a commission and it saved me from going in the red even. I don't want you to feel like I'm owed an audience, because I don't believe anyone is owed anything of the sort, but I'll admit the want is there. It's discouraging that I can't live my dream of working from home and doing my art, writing, and publishing books yet. I'll keep pushing for it though, no matter how hard I have to work for it. But that's another thing. I feel like I can only get commissions or interest if I offer up pony content. I've been trying to branch out and no one seems to care or asks about what I'm working on outside of pony. I want to improve and explore new options. I even want to learn 3D modeling so I can do 3D art too, I'm even working on a human counterpart. But, I'll admit, the lack of interest is discouraging.
Besides that, soon I'll be moving out of my temporary living housing and into my own place. I aim for January to be my time to move in to my own apartment alone. I'm saving up as much as I can until that happens, and it'll be peak season soon. Peak season means that we'll be getting more orders from November until the end of December because of the holidays and that'll be guaranteed Mandatory Overtime. That means that I'll have even less time to get orders filled out even if I wanted to. I'll be too stressed from work to even want to do anything about them, which isn't fair to any of you. It doesn't help that my laptop suddenly goes to sleep on me at random, my brand new headset doesn't want the mic to work sometimes, my laptop cooler isn't blowing as strongly as it once did, and I need to save up for a brand new machine at some point.
As a result of all this, I'm more quick to anger, getting snappy at random things that are happening that aren't that big of a deal, and I'm taking it out of my friends when I really shouldn't. I can't do this anymore. I need my space. I need to be alone. If I have the time to fit in a something simple between now and making changes about my circumstances, maybe I'll accept a commission, but no Vector Packs, no backgrounds, nothing complex. That's why the title say "loosely" and not "completely". I apologize to anyone who noted me and wanted to purchase a commission right now, but I'm not in a very good mind set to try and complete them. Thankfully, no one has sent payments I have to refund that I know of.
Thank you for making it to the end of this journal, but I really needed to get some things off my chest and I can't keep pretending that I'm happy when I'm really not. I'm sorry. ...I really am.
So, a lot of you have been waiting for me to reopen these. Well, you don't have to wait anymore, because they are now reopened for all. So, During my hiatus, I was working on a (multiple actually) project, and decided it needed my full attention. However, I have decided that I want to do some other projects along the side as a break in between finishing it. For those of you who want to know, it's a special video that I'm making for my adopted sister, Lightning Bliss. I've also decided that I'm going to make different content as well. I'm trying to veer more toward humans and anthros as well as pony. I also have plans to get published one of these days, as I have been inspired by Dungeons and Dragons to create my own comic book, if I can improve enough.
Also, I want to learn how to do 3d modeling so I can broaden my art abilities and learn how to 3D animate. Some 2D designs can be largely improved if you have a 3d reference that allows you to keep consistency and the freedom to do any angle you need. Especially for special scenes during animations. Speaking of which, I will now be attempting to create a video series on my YouTube channel. I ran a poll on Twitter and people want to hear my thoughts on how story is king. Therefore, I will be writing a script, animating my characters for it and posting it when it's ready, so if any commissions don't come out as soon as people might like, it will be due to these new plans.
Also, I have been working at a new job. I now work for Amazon for 12hrs every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. As a result, unless something special happens, I will be all but unreachable those days. I'll also let you know about MET (Mandatory Extra Time), which will cause a commission block out. I will be too tired from Amazon after working overtime those weeks to do any commissions and will release any on my list the week before the block out so that I have a clean plate to carry.
Now, if anyone would like to commission me for anything please send me a note on here, On my Discord, or on my Twitter and we can discuss terms and pricing. Thank you all for being patient with me and I hope you are staying safe during this horrible crisis.
What I'm Going to do About DeviantArt
I'm going to stay for now, but as soon as a better website comes about I'm going to leave for good. I'll tell you why. DeviantArt "fixed" something that wasn't broken but could've done with a bit of polish. There was so much that the old website could've been without having to "modernize" it to the point of being unrecognizable. This is not the DeviantArt I discovered and loved. What it needed was some tightening up not rebranding. Artists need a simple layout to help get their work out there not one so convoluted that's its near impossible to navigate.
Now before you jump off the deep end and say, "Why don't you build one [a website] yourself then if you don't like it?" I'll tell you now, I don't know the first thing about doing that. I don't have a degree in coding or a smart enough brain for that. I'm just someone who likes drawing and animation. Although, while I can't see it from a web designer's perspective, nor can I speak for all artists, I do want to tell you what my ideal art website might look like. If any of you would like to add anything or give constructive criticism to my suggestions, and please explain why or why not in complete detail, I would love to hear from you.
1. *Don't use anything similar to the points system on DeviantArt!* Monopoly is fun to play with in Monopoly, but for a lot of artists this is how we pay our rent and feed ourselves. I know not everyone can afford to pay for art, but for a lot of us, we can't make compromises. This is our way of life and whether or not someone agrees with it or not is their prerogative. So, if anyone were to pay for anything on this site, have a system set up were the artists get paid through a credit card transaction, or maybe through PayPal, or however just so long that as the artists are paid with real money, nothing fake. Now, you're probably going to ask, what would the buyers be paying for? Let me direct you to number two.
2. *Offer a Commissions, Products, and Prints widget or section for all artists on the site.* Look, I know that DA has this too, but it utilizes the problem I listed in section one above, so it's of no real benefit for us. Also, DA has a print and products section but it screws us over because we don't get a high percentage of the profit. I reiterate, we can't always make that kind of compromise, so we need to be able to keep our earnings. To do this we need to set up a commission, with a suitable thumbnail of what they'll pay for, and a button under the thumbnail that will complete the transaction securely. Or if we are capable of offering other things that are more physical rather than digital (ex: the Prance cards but they have their own website, Lightning Bliss' Coloring book comes to mind, etc.) What could also be helpful is if, when we post the product, we had to option to say it's either a new art piece or has to do with an existing art piece, and then that automatically creates an advertisement in the description of the art piece. It'd kill two birds with one stone and be a lot more convenient. Now, if an artist that is selling a product template that the site provides, by all means take a percentage but please be merciful. However, if it's the artists own product and they're just using the site to promote it, just let all the funds go to them only.
3. *Create an alert if a transaction does/doesn't go through.* When someone pays for something, the seller should be notified so they can provide, but if the payment was declined for any reason, the buyer should be notified so they aren't waiting on a product that's never going to come. Any number of reasons why this could happen, and both parties deserve to know when it happens.
4. *Create a contest/raffle section.* This is just personal experience, but I've noticed that people like to host contests or raffles in order to interact with their audience and determine how active they are. Plus, it's a good way for new artists to practice their craft and to draw fan art for their heroes. If we had a dedicated contest widget, complete with a deadline section, a submission box, and a rules/guidelines section, it would help create a positive outlet, an interesting challenge for those who want to try their hand at something new, and be a good way to interact with our audiences on an equal level. Also, when the contest ends, it can have a winner(s) section so everyone can see who was triumphant and a prizes section so they can see/know what they've won.
5. *Have an indicator of when someone is open for commissions and when a sale happens.* I know I rambled on about commissions already, but hear me out. I've noticed that some artists prefer to have a set time frame for commissions so not to overwhelm themselves with work or to catch up on overdue ones (Heaven knows I'm guilty of that a lot.). Also, some people take off sometimes to go on vacation, or if something family related comes up, etc. So if we had a closed, on hold, do not disturb, and open indicator for commissions that's visible for all to see, and customizable, it would be a really big help so people know when to ask and how long they have to ask. Being able to set up a repeating predetermined schedule for these would be beneficial for both the creators and the buyers. At the same time, there could be an indication that someone doesn't do commissions, and just uses the site to post their art for the world to see. Even better, when the artist wants to host a sale of any kind, they can input it then the discounts automatically get deducted from the standard price, and they can edit the length of time the discounts last.
6. *Let us be able to livestream on the site with a chat available* Why be forced to move to Twitch, Picarto, or YouTube to stream art when you can do it on the same site you post on?
7. *Have an indicator when some is online or not* I know DA has this but it's small and rather innocuous. It can easily be overlooked if people aren't looking for it. It would be easier if it was somewhere more obvious and easier for someone to see if they wanted to find it.
8. *Make it animation friendly* It can be a little annoying to have gifs and swfs with sound effects being played on loop endlessly. It would be beneficial to have a pause button, a distinct loop button, or even just a mute button would do some good.
9. *Have free templates for comic book pages.* Some people like to draw comics but don't know where to find high quality templates to help start them. If there was a way to get access high quality comic templates of various sizes to help people out, it could be beneficial to those who make comic pages or entire books.
Those are all the features I can think of for the time being. However, I have serious doubts that a website like that will pop up at all, let alone overnight. I might end up leaving for good at some point, but I do have a few commissions to finish, then decide when I'm going to bounce. Unless DeviantArt goes back to something better than this, I'll be out for good.
Thanks for reading my rant and wish for a better art website. I hope you all enjoy your day. I'm not gone yet, but if something better comes around I'm going to jump ship and not look back. Good luck to you all.